so there I was...

I was a little more nervous about Spencer's birth. Scared. Priesthood blessings brought peace. I felt more than anxious when the Wednesday doctors apt. brought no news of progress or change. After a little encouragement from the doctor that night brought more intense and regular contractions with very uncomfortable cramps. We dropped Cami off at Nana and Grandpa's (she was so excited to be up and going so late). 5 minutes apart we head to the hospital- we walk- we eat ice cream- we search for an open bathroom in the middle of the night and find it at Denny's. Nothing's happening. Do we go home only to turn around? We check in- could we be in labor? Mark falls asleep I am monitored- there's no way I can sleep through these contractions. We pull up to our mailbox after 4 am. No newspaper yet. Mark sleeps. I toss. I count. I retreat to my warm tub and by 7am Mark runs in "Are you ok?" The last several weeks he has continually asked "Do you think this is the big Kahona?". I am doubled over and calling out to Mark loudly every 4 minutes. I can't walk, talk, concentrate on anything even in between. By ten we are at Kasier and they are wheeling me to my room. I have gone from a 1 to a 6-7 in a few hours. They keep telling me there won't be time for an epidural. My mom is on her way. Mark breathes with me. I try to think of something more creative to say than "ow" "ow" "ow". Maybe I think that if I squeeze Marks hand hard enough some of the pain will transfer. Not that I want him in pain, but anything to escape mine. He drops to the floor head lowered and politely asks the nurse for some orange juice. The attention is immediately redirected as he is ushered to a chair and a wet cloth placed on his forehead. My concern for him has taken a little of the edge off (at least chipped it). He recovers quickly. My nurse speaks to me calmly. I'm not ready. I can't do this. Make it stop please. Help me. Yeah, I couldn't come up with anything more creative. Mark recognizes him from 2 years ago. Yes, he can explain it after. I guess I have a very skinny back (we all know that my legs are much better for storing fat). "How long till it works?" Mark asks. I take note of the clock- okay I can do this- three maybe four more. ? o'clock mom comes in. Mark goes for some lunch. I am supposed to sleep- so relieved instead I listen to Jane Austin. Mark returns. The nurse comes in and out. I am ready. I can sit up anyhow I like now that I'm disconnected to some things. I can move and feel my legs, everything except the sharp pains of before. Small pushes. We disconnect the epidural. "Is anything happening?" The lights are dim and all is relaxed and quiet. "Daddy do you want to see his head?" The doctor comes in. "We'll be ready for you in another contraction." Really already? Renewed strength. Change of nurses. The room is in delivery mode quickly and quietly. "Up to the sky", "Your doing it", "good job", "one more".

"He is so big!" "look at his hands!" "He roars just like a tiger!" "look at all that dark hair! First he was a little too purple and they quickly whisk him away from me to help him breathe better. That's better, now he's really red. He knows right away that I am his source of food. Doesn't like one bit to be finally brought back to the baby warmer for his bath and footprints.

I can't believe how good I feel- well, considering. Such an odd feeling to be aware of the whole miraculous process minus most of the pain- i sit up- i laugh - i cry- i snap photos- they sew me up (though NOTHING like last time) "Are you hungry?" i get up and walk (all by myself!) use the bathroom (I love the ice they have to chew on- yummm). Are you wondering why this even is worth recording? Shoulda been there for cami's birth. Recovery room- a little pain medication- lots more yummy ice and juice- Camilla comes to visit and LOVES him. She even think to count his toes! I'm sure she missed us but is too excited about Spenc to notice and very attached to Nana and Grandpa. 24(plus several)hours we go home. Cami arrives a little later and decides to show us what she thinks of being abandoned for so long. She camps out in her sandbox with her blanket and sippie cup, ignoring all my attempts to make peace. Nana wins her over. Cami still adores Spenc "Baby!". She wants us to know though that she has just as much hair as he does only its "magic hair", mostly invisible- especially when wet.